Okay, so I have a question… who would leave me in charge of a bride, the week before her elopement??? Hmm, I am betting not too many people, and my brother of all people should have known better.
So Friday night I spent preparing for the “Bachelorette Party.” Is that what they are being called now? Naturally we will had a bite to eat and a few drinks at my place before all of us married girl’s used our “get out of jail free card” to hit the clubs. (Just joking sweetie).
I thought I would set the tone for the evening by preparing a few things for the bride-to-be and the girls who would be leading her astray.
Naturally we needed some penis shaped serving trays for nibbles. The first I filled with cabanosi, cheese and biscuits and the second with a vegan dip.
Sweeet Potato & White Bean Dip
450gm boiled sweet potato (reserve liquid)
440gm white beans
3 cloves garlic
juice 1 lemon
1 t/s garam masala
2 t/s cumin
Add all the ingredients to a blender or food processor and combine until smooth. If needed add some of the liquid from the sweet potato.
Orange Jelly shots
I made two batches of Jelly shots. For the first batch I used popsicle moulds, and for the second, six silicone heart moulds. Both worked excellently.
1 Pkt Orange Jelly
200ml hot water
¼ cup vodka
¼ cup Triple Sec
¼ cup Malibu
I couldn’t resist having a bit more fun with my “theme” and made some penis ice cubes. To make them more realistic I used a few drops of pink food colouring in the water to give the impression of veins. They went down a treat! Hehe!!
I also found some little penis moulds which made cute little chocolates but we all agreed they weren’t going to go very far with eight hungry girls.
While we made our way through a few bottles of champagne I explained to the bride that there was a list of tasks which she needed to perform by the end of the night. The bride was given the list, after a few gasps and a lot of giggles she agreed to do her best.
We acknowledge that some would be a little harder than others ie: getting a guy to give up his undies for the bride, but we knew it would be fun trying.
The next item the bride was shown was a white singlet and matching veil for the evening. The singlet proudly proclaimed “What goes on tour, stays on tour”. I had a black marker ready so through out the evening the singlet could be signed by well wishers.
We had found a flashing L plate to attach to the back of the brides singlet.
I had also purchased masks so the girls could all safely keep their identity hidden.
One of the lovely girls had made another purchase for the bride. There were alot of giggles as this gift was presented to to her. It was just what any bride could hope for on her hens night, a little blow up doll called Leroy. We decided that Leroy could be our escort for the night.
The bride was also given a giant penis straw to take with her to the clubs. After applying tattoos such as “Kiss The Bride” and “Wild” we had a few watermelon cocktails for the road, and then we were ready to terrorise the clubs.
I really don’t know that I should go into too many more details, after all “what goes on tour, stays on tour.”
The bride did her duties well. The checklist required her to dance with a bald guy, which she did, and much to his amusement, before the end of the song there were 8 girls dancing with him.
She had to serenaded someone, not to go by halves she joined the band on stage to dance and sing her way through one of their songs.
She not only collected three guys phone numbers they are written on the back of her singlet in case my brother misbehaves in the future. (My brother is the Groom-in-waiting)
The publican of one of the clubs supervised a dance on the tables.
The bride swapped her veil for a boys pants and he drew smiley faces on everyone’s hands.
He also passed his phone number on to half the girls in our group. He was generous enough to give the bride back her veil to continue the night.
The only item on the list that we didn’t go ahead with was “the bride should drink 3 shots in a row” we all agreed that this was a bit silly. Neither the bride nor the girls needed any extra encouragement to run a muck.
At about 2.30am someone suggested pizza. We all piled out of the club and down to Domino’s. Thankfully we were in time to order two pizza’s. We ate them straight out of the oven and they were the absolute best things we had ever tasted. I shared a Prawn Spinach and Feta Pizza with an Alfredo sauce, and the others had a delicious looking Chicken and Bacon Pizza. Thank God for Domino’s! We hadn’t realized how hungry we were until we polished off the pizzas.
I think it is safe to say that everyone had an awesome night. It was an absolute riot! “Little Leroy” met his big brother “Big Leroy” who was escorting another bride on her hens night. I don’t think there was any jealousy over size though, as Little Leroy had his hands full with us girls as it was.
So this was my last big night before FebFast and it was a great send off. I am sure everyone will have a feel for how much I am going to miss my red wine of an evening, the bubbly with the girlfriends and the odd cocktail “just because.”
If you enjoyed this story, and you would like to help encourage me to stay dry for the month of February please go to the panel on right and donate to FebFast on my behalf.
Also a big thank you to those who have donated. Your support is so encouraging! Thank you so much!!